The last several months have been some of the most difficult of my life. I won't go into great detail, but rather gloss over the challenges I've faced... then focus on all the really freaking good stuff that's happened lately.
In June, my friend had his accident. He's doing great now, thank goodness, but those first few weeks were some of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.
In July I went on vacation with my entire family. I had a blast, as usual, but it was a bittersweet trip as we said goodbye to my family's vacation home. I spent every summer since I was born in that house and the end of the era was sad for everyone.
In August I started a new job and my last semester of grad school version 1.0. This semester was my busiest so far, and I slept way less and stressed way more than anticipated.
In September the bank foreclosed on the house I grew up in. We packed it up said goodbye to house #2.
In October I left a long relationship, the home we lived in (#3!), and the life we'd been building, not because anything was wrong but because it just wasn't right. I leased a bedroom in a new house and worked on building a new life, alone. This was without a doubt the most difficult thing I've ever done.
In November I got into a car accident and totaled my little car.
At this point I started feeling a little woe-is-me, until a read a funny quote: if life gets harder, you must have just leveled up. I felt like an adult, for real, for the first time.
Starting exactly 1 hour after my accident, life started looking up. When I finally made it to my destination that night I met a really nice boy.
On November 17th I interviewed at my dream grad school. I walked out of the door feeling incredibly confident about how the interview had gone - and for good reason. On November 27th, I got the phone call I'd been waiting for since 2008. I'd been accepted.
On November 18th I took my master's degree comprehensive exam. I passed with flying colors.
On November 19th I bought a new car.
On December 5th I spent the most important $700 of my life, on my grad school deposit.
On December 15th I finished my first master's degree. I finished with a program GPA of 4.0 and total post-baccalaureate GPA of 3.9.
On December 19th my part time job (which I absolutely love) was made into a full time position for me.
And today, Christmas Eve. I thought it would be a lot harder, this first year without the house, but I'm at peace. I get to spend the holidays with my brother and one sister as well as some friends and I've never felt so lucky. Its hard to live so far away from everyone (and getting further next year!) but there's so much love its aggressive.
Its a little early for end-of-the-year reminiscing, but that's not going to stop me here. Lately I've had the feeling that this moment, right now, is exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life. I have a master's degree. I have a wonderful job in a great organization doing something that makes a difference in the world. I have an acceptance letter to a top 10 ranked program in the field of my dreams. I have a great new relationship that is so exactly what I want right now it scares me. And most importantly, I have such an amazing, loving, supportive family it hurts. The good that is overflowing in my life right now makes up for the rough patch I went through a hundred times over, and I can't wait to see the good and that bad that will come in 2012. If, one year from today, I can reflect on the coming months with half as much appreciation, pride and thankfulness I'll consider myself the luckiest girl on the earth.
Merry Christmas, friends.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Crazy Summer
I can't believe how quickly those last few months went by! I had, in a word, a crazy summer.
A few days after my last post I got a phone call. The worst phone call. It was news from home that a close friend had been in an accident, and his chances of survival were slim. I didn't hesitate for one second, just packed up my things, made a few phone calls, and drove straight home.
I won't get into the gory details, but, thankfully, my friend did survive. He has since been moved from the ICU to the regular hospital, then from the hospital to an inpatient rehab facility. The doctors and nurses at the hospital call his recovery a miracle. Myself, his friends and family are just elated that he is going to be OK, but needless to say its been a rough couple of months for everyone.
When this happened I was knee-deep in marathon training. While I was home I tried to keep up with my schedule, but I spent a lot of time at the hospital and the rest of my time asleep. When I could finally return to "real life" at the end of July, I was way behind on training, but committed to making up lost time and preparing for October 9th.
But, here's the thing: I can't do it. I won't short change myself on my first marathon. I won't kill myself to be able to run 26.2 in 3 short months. Most importantly, I won't do this unless my heart is really in it, and right now, its just not. School starts this week, I just started a new job, and I'm still driving home every chance I have to support my friend. I can't make that many commitments, and at the moment, running has to be a lower priority than other things in my life.
All funds I've raised still go right to Team in Training, and I'm proud of every dollar! I'd like to say a BIG thank you to those of you that supported me through my short TnT journey. I plan on making another attempt at TnT when I'm in a better place to do so, and will definitely be blogging about it when the time comes.
A few days after my last post I got a phone call. The worst phone call. It was news from home that a close friend had been in an accident, and his chances of survival were slim. I didn't hesitate for one second, just packed up my things, made a few phone calls, and drove straight home.
I won't get into the gory details, but, thankfully, my friend did survive. He has since been moved from the ICU to the regular hospital, then from the hospital to an inpatient rehab facility. The doctors and nurses at the hospital call his recovery a miracle. Myself, his friends and family are just elated that he is going to be OK, but needless to say its been a rough couple of months for everyone.
When this happened I was knee-deep in marathon training. While I was home I tried to keep up with my schedule, but I spent a lot of time at the hospital and the rest of my time asleep. When I could finally return to "real life" at the end of July, I was way behind on training, but committed to making up lost time and preparing for October 9th.
But, here's the thing: I can't do it. I won't short change myself on my first marathon. I won't kill myself to be able to run 26.2 in 3 short months. Most importantly, I won't do this unless my heart is really in it, and right now, its just not. School starts this week, I just started a new job, and I'm still driving home every chance I have to support my friend. I can't make that many commitments, and at the moment, running has to be a lower priority than other things in my life.
All funds I've raised still go right to Team in Training, and I'm proud of every dollar! I'd like to say a BIG thank you to those of you that supported me through my short TnT journey. I plan on making another attempt at TnT when I'm in a better place to do so, and will definitely be blogging about it when the time comes.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Finding Motivation
Sometimes motivation comes from the most unlikely of places.
Since I'm only 1 week and 3 days into marathon training, which is almost 4 months long, its a leeetle early for my motivation to be waning. Yet, when I came home from work today I really just didn't want to head out on my scheduled run. It was my first tempo run, and after the ridiculous amounts of soreness and fatigue I experienced on Sunday's recovery run let me know exactly how un-strong I am I was not looking forward to feeling my cardiovascular un-fitness. Boo. Also, strep has been going around at work and although I haven't succumbed (yet?) I haven't felt like my normal healthy self either.
When I got home I fell into my normal "I don't want to run" business. I found something mildly pressing (example: sweeping the floors), made it exceedingly important (MUST! SWEEP! NOW!), and set to work. Before I got too far I somehow stumbled across this hilarious flow chart here, and wouldn't you know, 5 minutes later I had laced up my shoes and was headed out the door. And its a good thing I did, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have done 3 miles with 9 minute splits. I have a long way to go, but in week 2 I'm only 30 seconds off my 10k race pace. And ya know what... I'm not unhappy with that at all!
Since I'm only 1 week and 3 days into marathon training, which is almost 4 months long, its a leeetle early for my motivation to be waning. Yet, when I came home from work today I really just didn't want to head out on my scheduled run. It was my first tempo run, and after the ridiculous amounts of soreness and fatigue I experienced on Sunday's recovery run let me know exactly how un-strong I am I was not looking forward to feeling my cardiovascular un-fitness. Boo. Also, strep has been going around at work and although I haven't succumbed (yet?) I haven't felt like my normal healthy self either.
When I got home I fell into my normal "I don't want to run" business. I found something mildly pressing (example: sweeping the floors), made it exceedingly important (MUST! SWEEP! NOW!), and set to work. Before I got too far I somehow stumbled across this hilarious flow chart here, and wouldn't you know, 5 minutes later I had laced up my shoes and was headed out the door. And its a good thing I did, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have done 3 miles with 9 minute splits. I have a long way to go, but in week 2 I'm only 30 seconds off my 10k race pace. And ya know what... I'm not unhappy with that at all!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Here We Go!
I've sat in the same place I am now - at my desk, staring at this screen – many times, trying to find the right words to get this little bloggy started. After so many failed attempts it’s time to say something, anything, even if it’s not the right thing. So, here it goes!
I'll get to a more complete introduction later, but here is a little about me: I'm a 20-something graduate student with a passion for health care. I'm a former college athlete just getting started in what I hope will be a long, fun running career. An Athlete (Again) is my way of documenting this transition.
Right now I am ready for a challenge. A big, new, exciting challenge. So, I decided that I would get serious about distance running and complete my first marathon. As I was researching races I came across Team in Training, and everything felt right. So, I signed up to run the 2011 Chicago Marathon with TNT.
Team in Training is an AMAZING part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Its mission is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families. So, you ask, where do I come in? As a Team in Training participant I commit to train for and complete the Chicago Marathon as a means to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
I have so much to talk about! Like WHY I thought it would be a good idea to run a marathon in the first place, WHO I’m running for, WHAT the &#%@ I’m thinking, and HOW I’m getting from 4 miles to 26.2 without dying. And yes, all the gory details. But for now, suffice it to say that I am super excited at the chance to run my first marathon at an elite race like Chicago, all while making a difference in the lives of cancer patients around the country.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Just In Case
In case you've come here from Kayla's blog, I can do nothing but apologize for having absolutely nothing to say! I'm working on a new little project which should be up and running on Monday - I hope you'll take a look!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Reform This
I've talked about this a little before, but here is yet another document discussing how rich health insurers are getting while health care costs are rising. Every company this looked at saw a profit from 2008-2010, while the average American paid substantially more money for the same coverage. Bogus.
Health Care for America NOW
And in case you're not a big public health nerd who has actually read most of the new reform bill, there's a section that requires insurance companies to put between 80 and 85% of the money collected through deductibles, premiums, etc toward paying health care costs and increasing other health ventures. That means only 15 to 20% can go toward employee salaries.
Which is good, considering these are the 2009 salaries for some CEOs:
Health Care for America NOW
And in case you're not a big public health nerd who has actually read most of the new reform bill, there's a section that requires insurance companies to put between 80 and 85% of the money collected through deductibles, premiums, etc toward paying health care costs and increasing other health ventures. That means only 15 to 20% can go toward employee salaries.
Which is good, considering these are the 2009 salaries for some CEOs:
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Antilamentation
Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook, not
the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication, not
the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punch line, the door or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don't regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You've walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You've traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the window.
Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied of expectation.
Relax. Don't bother remembering any of it. Let's stop here,
under the lit sign on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.
Dorianne Laux
to the end just to find out who killed the cook, not
the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication, not
the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punch line, the door or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don't regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You've walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You've traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the window.
Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied of expectation.
Relax. Don't bother remembering any of it. Let's stop here,
under the lit sign on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.
Dorianne Laux
Thursday, January 20, 2011
He Loves Me
I write this stuff down because a) I like to show off, and b) good things are nice to remember on not-so-good days.
We've had issues with our fire alarms since we moved in. First, the previous owners of the house left us with non-functional alarms, which besides being a pretty major no-no in the real estate world, has turned into this huge inconvenience.
We bought fire alarms somewhere shortly after we moved in. They didn't work. We returned them and did what we should have done in the first place: bought them from Costco (<3). Now, these alarms run through batteries in record time. We changed all the batteries out within the last 2 months, but last night at 3am one of the alarms started beeping. The beeps were less in the vein of oh-crap-its-a-fire, but more like the I'm-slowly-dying-and-taking-you-down-with-me.
By the way... why do fire alarms always start this at night? It happened at our last apartment too.
Anyway, D got up to address the beeping at 3am last night. He tried to be super quiet. He got a flashlight and changed those stupid batteries in the dark so I could sleep. It totally woke me up, but I appreciated the effort enough to pretend it didn't. He is adorable. And I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a grumpy monster in the mornings.
We've had issues with our fire alarms since we moved in. First, the previous owners of the house left us with non-functional alarms, which besides being a pretty major no-no in the real estate world, has turned into this huge inconvenience.
We bought fire alarms somewhere shortly after we moved in. They didn't work. We returned them and did what we should have done in the first place: bought them from Costco (<3). Now, these alarms run through batteries in record time. We changed all the batteries out within the last 2 months, but last night at 3am one of the alarms started beeping. The beeps were less in the vein of oh-crap-its-a-fire, but more like the I'm-slowly-dying-and-taking-you-down-with-me.
By the way... why do fire alarms always start this at night? It happened at our last apartment too.
Anyway, D got up to address the beeping at 3am last night. He tried to be super quiet. He got a flashlight and changed those stupid batteries in the dark so I could sleep. It totally woke me up, but I appreciated the effort enough to pretend it didn't. He is adorable. And I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a grumpy monster in the mornings.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Birthday Tiramisu
My favorite thing about my birthday is the chance to make myself a birthday dessert. I usually spend weeks - sometimes months - deciding what to make, looking for the perfect recipe, and generally making a big deal out of dessert. You know, like I usually do... but around my birthday I have a great excuse!
To illustrate how bad I am at this blogging thing (and also how hectic December was), my 25th birthday was over a month ago and I'm just getting around to posting this! But, true story, this was unbelievable. I must have said "I can't believe I made this!" at least ten times. That good.
This year I had wanted to try making tiramisu, and my birthday provided the perfect opportunity. Not only do I love tiramisu a LOT more than cake, my December birthday gave the procrastinator in me the chance to shine. I made the ladyfingers from scratch as well, but don't be impressed: rather than ambition or ability, the decision to bake them was due to some rather painful memories of my mom sending me to 1,048,934 grocery stores in search of ladyfingers every time she had to make a charlotte rousse. Thankfully, this wasn't often.
I loosely followed Mario Batali's recipe, mostly because I felt like he knows his desserts. However, the cheapskate in me couldn't justify using 2 egg whites and 4 egg yolks - no matter how good my intentions, I never end up using leftover egg whites. Instead, I used 3 each of eggs and yolks. I found a number of recipes that included whipping cream and I liked the idea of a fluffier dessert, so I also added that to the original recipe.
Without further ado,
Tiramisu
adapted from here
4 oz espresso, strong
2 oz liquor (I used dark rum)
3 eggs, separated
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz mascarpone cheese
2 cups heavy cream, whipped
24 savoiardi (lady fingers)
6 oz shaved chocolate
Mix coffee and liquor together and set aside.
Over a double boiler, beat egg yolks and sugar until mixture lightens in color and forms ribbons. Allow to cool 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, beat egg whites to stiff peaks. Fold mascarpone cheese and heavy cream into egg yolk mixture one quarter at a time. Add vanilla, then gently combine the mascarpone mixture with the egg whites. Set aside.
Dip each ladyfinger into the espresso and lay along the bottom of several small glasses or a large dish. Top this layer with half of the mascarpone mixture and sprinkle with half of the shaved chocolate. Repeat, then enjoy
To illustrate how bad I am at this blogging thing (and also how hectic December was), my 25th birthday was over a month ago and I'm just getting around to posting this! But, true story, this was unbelievable. I must have said "I can't believe I made this!" at least ten times. That good.
This year I had wanted to try making tiramisu, and my birthday provided the perfect opportunity. Not only do I love tiramisu a LOT more than cake, my December birthday gave the procrastinator in me the chance to shine. I made the ladyfingers from scratch as well, but don't be impressed: rather than ambition or ability, the decision to bake them was due to some rather painful memories of my mom sending me to 1,048,934 grocery stores in search of ladyfingers every time she had to make a charlotte rousse. Thankfully, this wasn't often.
I loosely followed Mario Batali's recipe, mostly because I felt like he knows his desserts. However, the cheapskate in me couldn't justify using 2 egg whites and 4 egg yolks - no matter how good my intentions, I never end up using leftover egg whites. Instead, I used 3 each of eggs and yolks. I found a number of recipes that included whipping cream and I liked the idea of a fluffier dessert, so I also added that to the original recipe.
Without further ado,
Tiramisu
adapted from here
4 oz espresso, strong
2 oz liquor (I used dark rum)
3 eggs, separated
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz mascarpone cheese
2 cups heavy cream, whipped
24 savoiardi (lady fingers)
6 oz shaved chocolate
Mix coffee and liquor together and set aside.
Over a double boiler, beat egg yolks and sugar until mixture lightens in color and forms ribbons. Allow to cool 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, beat egg whites to stiff peaks. Fold mascarpone cheese and heavy cream into egg yolk mixture one quarter at a time. Add vanilla, then gently combine the mascarpone mixture with the egg whites. Set aside.
Dip each ladyfinger into the espresso and lay along the bottom of several small glasses or a large dish. Top this layer with half of the mascarpone mixture and sprinkle with half of the shaved chocolate. Repeat, then enjoy
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