Friday, October 24, 2008

On a Lighter Note...

Since my last post was a little on the serious side, I'll only be talking about agreeable things today. So, here you have it, in no particular order, Shawna's top 10 reasons why she is happy.

1. It is the weekend. 2 1/2 glorious days of no work and sweet freedom. Fabulous.

2. We're going to see a play tomorrow! We scored some free tickets through this neat program, so we are pretending to be cultured people. The play is tomorrow afternoon, so I may even be able to turn it into a full-fledged date if I can convince D to take me out for dinner :)

3. On Monday I came home from work and decided to go for a run. I took a lovely jog through the park that we live pretty close to and felt really, really good about it. The park is pretty big, and its the only place I've found that you can feel like you're not in the middle of a gigantic city. Plus all the trees are turning all sorts of colors. It was really beautiful and peaceful - just what I needed.

4. On Tuesday I found a really neat website, walkjogrun. This site uses a google-ish satellite map and allows you to enter in a route (you know, to walk, jog, or run) and then calculates the mileage. It was really fun to enter in my little run, and even more fun to see how far I actually ran - 5 miles! Not bad for a Monday afternoon whim.

5. Today I went for another run along the same route. This means that this week I ran 10 miles! Oh hey, I'm awesome.

6. Next Tuesday I officially start my new position. Thank freakin' god - I could not have made it much longer at my old position. Now I finally get to be working with patients again - and really learning about OBGYN! It's also nice because 3 days a week I will be at a different office, so there will be a lot more variety in my work week from now on.

7. I painted my nails last weekend. Now, usually I'm not a painted-nail kind of girl, except for the occasional pedicure with my sisters. But I found a really pretty color nail polish - pink, but not too pink - and it's perfect. It makes me feel infinitely more feminine and delicate. I think I may be a painted-nail convert.

8. D was craving something peanut buttery this week, and I was craving something chocolaty as always. We put the two together and made chocolate peanut butter rice krispie treats, and let me tell you, these things are delicious. I eat at least 2 every day - and with how fattening they are, its a good thing I've been running so much!

9. I'll be back in the AZ on November 25th, which is exactly 1 month from tomorrow. So excited for warmth and sunshine and friends! And my car! I miss my car.

10. I'm starting to feel like I have some semblance of a plan for the next few years of my life. I know what I really want to do (PA school) but I have a good backup plan if I don't get in (nursing school). I have sorted out a lot of my relationship confusions and I know what I want and have an idea of how to get it - or how to try to get it, at least. And, most importantly, I know that very rarely do things go as they are supposed to, so I am armed with resilience and flexibility in the event that everything blows up in my face. This is a good place to be.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

In Which I Bore You to Death with Politico

A lot of the blogs that I read have lately discussed the issue of gay marriage. In AZ there is legislation to be voted on that would ban gay marriage in that state. Now, I’m proud to say that I voted against a similar proposition last year, and proud to say that a whole lot of other Arizonians did as well – enough to strike down the proposition. And since the majority of the blogs I read are written by a more conservative bunch, I’d like to at least get my ‘crazy liberal’ perspective out there, and maybe even spark an intelligent debate that does not involve the word “God” (because last I checked, America was founded on the principle of separation of church and state).

First, let me say that I fully appreciate the views that a lot of people hold. In a religious sense, homosexuality is a sin and I get that. Hi, I was born into a Catholic household. Catholic, people! As for now, I hold no religious affiliation, and that fact makes it easy for me to divide this into a religious issue as opposed to a political issue, which is what we are voting on. (I am also proud to say that despite my lack of religiousness, I’ve been to more churches than you. More types of churches, I mean. I have attended services of lots of faiths, and I think that every single one of them is beautiful and that not one of them is more right than any other. But that’s a whole different story.)

Onto the issues. Homosexuality is not something that I engage in, nor is it something I actively support. The way I see it, it’s a matter of fairness. See, the beautiful thing about being an American is that we have freedoms. You know - speech and right to bear arms. And we have an unquestionable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I live by the absolute premise that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL, and to me that stands regardless of education, faith, gender, socioeconomic status, and all the other variables that make us individuals. This includes, of course, sexual orientation. I try, though I don’t always succeed, to treat every single person I meet in the same manner. I would never, ever, ever try to deny someone a basic right (in this case, pursuit of happiness) based on any qualifying characteristic (in this case, sexual orientation). I call that being a good American (and a good person).

Further, I don’t think that the government should be involved in this issue. And frankly, I don’t see how a lot of you can ask the government to get involved – to unfairly lump you together, you’re a conservative bunch. You’ll be voting for McCain. You believe in deregulation. You agree with Palin when she said “you know, government, just get out of my way”. Except, of course, now that this comes up you are all begging for government intervention. If someone has a plausible explanation for this I’ll be glad to take it all back, but aren’t some conservative voters out there being just a little bit hypocritical right now? I feel that this is a moral issue for each person to decide on their own, not a place for laws and regulations.

And now, let me present my problems with the ideals of those who feel differently than I. One blog I read (I won’t be quoting or naming any names) argued that allowing homosexual marriage would create a more tolerant society. Oh, and they were arguing that this would be a bad thing. Does anyone else find this totally ridiculous?!? Tolerance is the most important thing we as people of the world can strive for. And while I don’t know a whole lot about the specific teachings of the church that this person subscribes to, they used the church to justify their position. Fair enough, except that this person is a Christian. As in, follows the teachings of Jesus Christ. Who, incidentally, taught a whole lot of tolerance. I don’t think that anyone who calls themselves a Christian (or a Jew, for that matter) can use his principles to argue for less tolerance in the world, as doing so directly opposes the teachings of Christ.

Random side note: other things that I am against include all the construction still going on in my building. All this hammering really cannot be necessary.

A second reason I cannot support a lot of the ideas I’ve read is not so much the conclusion (not supporting gay marriage) as much as it is the thought process that has brought about that conclusion. A big big reason that people come to their conclusions is religion. However, this is not a religious issue right now, it is a political one, and the responsibility of being an American includes not mixing those two parts of your whole. Again, I understand that this is much easier for me to do than for a lot of other people because I have no religious affiliations. Growing up, I was not taught morals through religion but rather through more concrete ideas of right and wrong. (Disclaimer: I only say ‘more concrete’ because there are a LOT of religions that teach a lot of different rights and wrongs. My morals are (simply) things that all religions can hopefully agree on – killing is bad, being nice is good, etc.) As a result I find it easy to think that its wrong to discriminate based on sexual orientation – I have no religious authority telling me otherwise. I see how it can be difficult for those of you that are religious to discriminate moral and religion because for you those two things are so tightly interwoven. But morals do exist outside of religion (and, sadly, religion can exist without morals) and this gray area is the one that we must be arguing on – that space that exists in the separation of morality and religion. The issue is not and cannot be “homosexuality is wrong because my priest/pastor/bishop/rabbi/whatever told me that it’s wrong”; instead the decision must be “do I believe that all people should have equal rights, or do I believe people can be disqualified from rights based on certain characteristics?” The key words there are “DO I BELIEVE”. What are your personal beliefs? What do you think, outside of what your church teaches you? Do you really believe that people can be stripped of rights based on one single characteristic? And if you do, remember that people once thought that people could be stripped of rights based on skin color – was that fair? How different was that from what could happen now to homosexuals?

Time for disclaimers. I’m not trying to swing your vote. I’m not trying to attack your religion. I’m not trying to corrupt the minds of young America. I just wanted to present a (hopefully) somewhat coherent argument about why homosexual marriage may not be a sign of the apocalypse. I would appreciate somewhat coherent responses, from all different perspectives, but don’t get angry with me. The end.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Soccer Legs

Before I packed up and moved to NY, I had the most fantastic job ever. I worked as a MA in a doctors office, just like I do now, but my office was the best. It was small - 2 doctors and 1 PA - and all 3 of the providers were absolutely committed to teaching. Which was perfect for me and my future hopes and dreams. I could spend 20 minutes asking Dr Whitely questions and she wouldn't just humor me - she'd enjoy it. I miss that job.

The office manager has a 16 year old daughter who plays soccer. In fact, at my interview we spent 30 minutes talking soccer - coaches, teams, etc - and I'm halfway convinced that's why I was hired in the first place.

As we all know, that wonderful change of life can hit right around 16. For this girl, she was right in the middle of it. For an athlete, that can mean a lot of different things. For soccer players, it means soccer thighs. For me it all started around 16 - I think its awful that kids start weight training right in the middle of puberty. First I've got tiny bumps on my chest and now you want me to squat 100lbs? Everything on your body is going in every which way: boobs out, hips out, abs in, and it can be a bit overwhelming. Trust me.

One of the not-so-pleasant side effects of weight training is stretch marks. For me and my fellow soccer players, this devastates your upper thighs, right around the hips. I have some nasty scarring all over the front half of me - though, for the record, as my legs are shrinking so are my scars! YAY!

Back to my office manager and her daughter. The OM was really concerned about her daughter. To the point that one day she called me back into her office to ask me about it. I assured her that some stretch marks on the thighs were totally normal, not to worry, and I had lots. I even went so far as to tell her that I would show her mine, if she wanted to see. And although I was joking, she asked if she could. So, what did I do?

I closed the door and dropped my pants. In front of my boss.

How many people have pulled this off without getting fired? I'm sure that I'm in the minority here. In the end, though, I made this poor woman feel a little bit better about her daughter and given that outcome, I'm totally at peace with my shamelessness.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

In Which I Talk About Food

My favorite topic? Yes.

Growing up, I never worried about how much I ate or what I put in my mouth. First, I was young and had the metabolism of a teenager - oh how I miss those days. Second, I was an athlete, and a serious one. I played enough soccer to burn off anything I consumed, and then some. One week in the summer I decided to estimate my caloric intake: around 6000. A day. And I was losing weight. At that rate, who cares what you eat?

As I grew up, and as my soccer playing days came to an end, I still never thought about food. I just ate it, the same way I always had. As you can imagine, this led to some weight gain. I didn't think it was a big deal - only natural, right, that when you stop doing heavy exercise for 3 hours a day that you put on a few pounds. I was still slim, and healthy.

At some point I grew unhappy with myself, my body, my weight. It was never the number on the scale, no, the athlete in me learned how to ignore that number long ago. It was just the way I felt. My arms had a slight jiggle. My belly button - an inny - sorta disappeared. My legs, which had always been big, lost their definition and rock-solidness. I grew my first real set of boobs. I wasn't my athletic, trim self and I didn't like it. Enough was enough, I was fixing this situation.

I thought about a lot of options. Did some research online. Realized a 'diet' was not going to work for me. My attitudes about food and exercise had to change permanently, not just for a 6-week lo-carb phase. I started thinking about the things I was putting into my body, and what I was asking that body to do. I started cooking more, and the things I cooked were full of veggies, complex carbs, and proteins. I started watching how much sugar I brought in, and started choosing unrefined grains and breads. I made swaps - frozen yogurt for ice cream, fruit for cookies, chicken and turkey for red meats.

I'm happy to report that I've lost a solid 17 pounds just by making these small changes. The best part? While at first I felt like I was making sacrifices (like when I really, really wanted that ice cream) now I feel good about my choices. I enjoy eating what I eat, and don't feel like I'm giving anything up. If given the choice, I'd probably choose a turkey burger over a hamburger. I'd take frozen yogurt over ice cream (ok... well, maybe) and I'd definitely pick fruits or veggies for a snack over chips, candy, or anything else. Why? Because last week I wore a pair of pants that I haven't fit into since fall semester of my freshman year of college, which was the leanest I've probably ever been. Because I'm over half way to my goal (which is, incidentally, my weight fall semester of freshman year). And mostly because I feel better about the way I look and feel. And that's a beautiful thing.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Weekend Update

I'm terrible at this blogging thing. I'm sporadic, mostly incoherent, and I ramble. But the worst offense of all - I take no pictures.

This weekend, for example, I went to Boston. My favorite place in the whole wide world. Well, its certainly up there. And I took exactly 0 pictures. I suck. But I would like you all to know that I had a fabulous time and I want to live there instead of NY. I had a really hard time coming home. Boston is much more... relaxed... than here. And much less expensive! All in all, Boston > NY.

This is going to be random. I warned you.

Taco turns 21 this week. I'm bummed I can't be there to get her good and drunkfaced, but I'm sure she will do just fine on her own. Happy 21st, seester!

Just over a month until I make my triumphant return to AZ. Hey, I'm excited. I miss AZ, probably a little more than I expected. Mostly I miss the people though.

Today I made a mental list of all my faults. Let me say, I'm a little concerned - it was a long list. However, I'm more concerned by the fact that I was in a better mood after I made the list than I was before - the list cheered me up? I'm hoping its just because I realized that, for the most part, I am totally capable of fixing these faults - always good news. Now, the question is, will I...

Boyfriends shouldn't go grocery shopping on their own. He did this weekend and came back with $7 worth of yogurt (which, at $.30 each, is a lot) and rice cakes and not much else. Oh, how could I forget the two containers of frozen yogurt? Ha - no vegetables, no fruit, nothing to EAT! Ah! Its a good thing I like him.

I have ANOTHER 2 days off this week... fabulous. They are days 4 and 5 of my 7 days off this month. I'm considering making this my weekly work schedule - 2 days off in the middle of the week. 30 hours a week. The good thing is, I don't get paid nearly enough so that extra 10 hours doesn't really make a difference :)

I'm going to forage for more food now. Then take a glorious nap. If I didn't hate my job so much, I'd love it.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Zoo!!!

Last Saturday D and I headed up to the Bronx Zoo. We both bank with BofA, and they have this cool promotion the first weekend of every month - free admission at certain cultural or academic institutions if you show your BofA card! A few months ago we spent a Saturday at the Met - which was incredible - and this month we figured this would be the last month we could actually stand to be outside, so it was a zoo kind of day.

Unlike the Phoenix Zoo, the Bronx Zoo is huge. Oh, and you can actually see the animals. And now, so will you!



The tiger! I'm going to admit, there was one point while we were standing here that the tiger got right next to the glass right in front of us. I swear he stood there and stared at us! I didn't get a picture because I got really excited and ended up snapping a picture of the ground instead. And by the time my camera reset, he had walked away. I'm a failure.



Poor quality picture - but this was the cutest little monkey we saw all day!



The sea lions were by far the best part of the day. There was a huge tank will 5 or 6 of them in there, and they were all swimming around and doing tricks to show off.
There was a little baby sea lion too, and he was wiped out! He didn't really move from this position much for the whole time we stood there. Its rough to be a baby :)
Every once in a while one would propel itself out of the water and land with a big splash. Bunch of show offs, I tell ya.



Then, this guy jumped right up on the edge of the tank right in front of us. He was just looking around at everybody and literally posing for pictures.



Then he let out a roar - I don't know what sound sea lions really make? - and splashed right back into the tank!



This was in the Madagascar exhibit. I don't remember what these guys were, exactly, but they were neat!



How cute are these guys all huddled up with each other?



I like to move it move it!



The giraffes! There were four, including a baby, which was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a picture.



African dogs - very strange. They looked like dogs, only bigger and scarier. I did not want to pet these guys.




The bear! He was for some reason very intent on digging himself a hole.


When he finished digging, he sat right down and took a nap.


This was the showdown of the century. I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd let my 2 year old face off against a bird the same size as her.

The lions!


Yeah, these guys weren't far from the lions. Like, I'm pretty sure the lions had access to them, if you know what I mean.

And that was our big day at the zoo. It was a freakin hike to get out there - the Bronx is NOT close to Brooklyn - and also, I don't think I'd go to the Bronx at night. But the zoo was neat. And the pretzels were cheap :) Thank you, BofA, for another cheap day!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Apples and Oranges

As fall has officially arrived here on the East coast, we've entered my favorite time of the produce year: Apple Season! I love apples. Love them. I could eat 3 apples a day, I kid you not. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, I want apples in all of my meals. It's ridiculous to begin with, and sometimes gets completely out of hand.

With all this nonsense about apples, I want to finally admit to the world: I am an apple snob. I like all types of apples, don't get me wrong, but I will flat out refuse a Red Delicious, and don't get me started on Goldens... yuk. I like Granny Smith enough to buy them, but in my heart there is only place for one perfect kind of apple: the McIntosh. It is the very apex of apple perfection: tart yet sweet. Crunchy, but not too much. A pretty combination of red and green. And I think it is delicious.

A lot of people look down on the McIntosh. It's not good for baking, they say, because it loses too much moisture or it falls too much. Bah! Humbug. That's totally bogus. How could you say anything bad about the apple that inspired the Apple brand, the Macintosh computer? I want you to go to the store and pick up at least 3 pounds of McIntosh apples. They're good for you. They're delicious in pies. Or apple butter, or cider, or bread, or cake, or however else you want to eat them. Just eat them, and rejoice in there delicious, tarty, juicy goodness. You are welcome.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's a Simon and Garfunkel kind of Night

Kathy’s Song

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day.

And as a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.




I’m a terrible person. But S&G takes me back. And in this case, back to the very same place I’ve been stuck.

I hate writing in abstracts. Hopefully I get myself sorted out soon.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

It's 1:30 in the afternoon and I just put on a bra. I love days off.

I'm going to be having a lot of days off this month, thanks to the plethora of Jewish holidays. My office is ultra-orthodox, so I have a total of 7 days off. Fantastic. The only bad part: I'm not getting paid for most of them. Ohhhhh well.

Speaking of which, I went to church yesterday. It was the first day of Rosh Hashana, or the Jewish new year, so I went with my lovely Jewish boyfriend and some of his family. I've never been to Jewish services before - only 1 Bar Mitzvah - but this was pretty neat. Minus the fact that I couldn't understand a thing that was going on, because most of the service was in Hebrew :) Another bonus: the service was actually held in Plymouth Church, which is a historic church in downtown Brooklyn. Absolutely beautiful. I'm such a sucker for old things.

The thing I like best about the Jews is that they like to eat. I cannot tell you how much I've eaten the last 2 days - we had a full thanksgiving-style dinner on Monday night with turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans and some Jewish additions like kugel and mandelbrot. Last night was chicken, a brisket, asparagus, honey cake, more kugel. Oh, and lots of matzah ball soup. And gefilte fish, which I did not sample. I've had enough food the last 2 days to last me all week. And it was delicious. Next week is Yom Kippur, so I'll have to do it all over again. Hello to the beginning of the holiday weight gain!

I've been working a LOT on my grad school applications. They are due the 1st of November, so its crunch time! I'm getting really nervous about getting in - It will be such a disappointment if I don't. But there's not much I can do about it at this point except hope for the best!! Good thoughts are appreciated.

Time to run to the grocery store - I'm making my dad's chili for dinner and I need to pick up a few things. Have a good day and Shana Tova! (Happy New Year!)