A Confession

A little while ago I posted about two of my New Year's Resolutions. I'll finish with that soon enough, but in the meantime, I have a confession to make.

I've totally set myself up for failure.

My two goals are not "lose ten pounds" or "buy less stuff'. No. My goals are huge, life changing things. Grad school. An engagement. This is heavy stuff. And here's the truth: there is no way both can happen this year.

If I do get in to grad school (I find out before the end of the month... PLEASE keep a good thought for me!) I'll be moving to Oregon in June. D will be... well, we still don't know where he will be, but it sure won't be Oregon. And with as hard as a long-distance relationship is, neither of us is very interested in a long-distance engagement or long distance marriage. Yuk. And we agree that we are not multi-year engagement people. When we do get engaged it won't be a hypothetical, "when" we get married. It will be a set-the-date, find-a-caterer, thank-god-we-know-a-photographer-because-otherwise-this-would-be-hell, lets do this kind of thing.

And if I don't get into grad school, well, we're still more or less stuck. We still don't know where D will be with work, and what my next step will be. We pretty much have no idea what is going to be happening in either of our lives in a year, six months, hell, in six weeks. Yes, it is very frustrating. But yes, it is very exciting!

I think that when this year is over and I look back on it all, I'll be completely totally 100% thrilled if just one of these things happen. 2010, bring it on :)