So. Dunno what to say to follow up that last one. Except, guys, I'm sorry about the breakdown I had right then. I knew this was going to be hard, but its proving to be way worse than I ever imagined. (It probably will happen again. And you will like it, or you will ignore it. Deal?)
By the way, thanks to those of you who rock. I feel the lovey-ness.
I'm going to be ok.
I'm in the mood where I could mental vomit (via my fingers) for three hours. No, I'm not going to do that to you.
Christmas has been jolly. Friends, family, food... ungodly amounts of food. And the leftovers! I have more leftovers than I know what to do with. I'm spending tomorrow organizing, tupperware-ing, and freezing almost everything. What an exciting life I lead, no?
Every time I burp its like a little adventure... I don't know what flavor is going to come up.
My brother gave me a GI Joe for Christmas. And an opened box of chalk. What? But its fair, because I gave him socks. And also a bottle of Smirnoff - he's one happy underage drinker. I also wrapped up everything D sent and distributed it like it was from me. I'm so sneaky. I didn't fool anyone.
Did you know that finding a job around the holidays is a bitch? Because it is. I hate to say it, but I miss my old job. Ooooh, it hurt to write that. I miss the zoo, and the Jews, and the crap, and the wasting 9 hours of my life behind a computer screen. I miss being gainfully employed. So does my bank account.
Soccer this week! Yess!
I hate New Years. I think about all the things I didn't accomplish in the last year, all the things I royally screwed up. Then I set a bunch of goals that I just know I won't come close to attaining. I just set myself up for failure and then I get bummed when I do fail. Honestly, I don't even REMEMBER what my resolutions were from last year. This is not a good sign.
This week I'm going to come up with some real resolutions; ones I could actually accomplish. And then I'm going to tell you all about them. And then I'm going to proceed to do nothing to get them done. Woo! I wish I weren't such a slacker...
Since I've been missing out on the Hannukah celebrations taking place in Brooklyn (and, you know, everywhere else in the world) I've been pretty bummed. Its been fun over the last few years to be with D on their holidays and learn and be a part of something new. And lets face it - I love Jewish food. D has actually sent me a picture of the plate of latkes at his cousin's house because he knew I was sad to be missing out on the deliciousness (in his defense, I had just taunted him with a picture of the apple pie I baked).
So I've decided I'm making me some damn latkes. We still have a few days left of Hannukah and I want to celebrate the festival of lights by partaking of yummy-ness. Latke party, anyone?
And to all a goodnight :)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
In the Aftermath (warning: extreme melodramatica)
I'm home.
I've come home before, so I know what it entails. The joys, the disappointments, the loneliness. I know that after some time the novelty of home wears off and real life sets in. And I know that when it hits I'm not going to be ready to be here without you.
It was a hard decision. I know it was the right one.
I'm trying to get settled. I want a job, a dog, a time commitment. I want anything that forces me to move forward when I don't want to.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep from crying on the phone tonight. I tried to hide it and I know you heard and I know you humored my poor attempts to sound OK. Thank you.
I'm so sick of people saying, "its for the best." How the fuck do they know? I wish someone would slap me and ask why the hell I threw away the best thing I had going for me.
I'm glad you've been spending time with your family and getting out of that tiny apartment. You surprised me when you talked about all the things you have been doing. I wish we hadn't gotten so complacent.
I haven't been able to tell people out loud yet. I can type it. I can text it. But I can't say, "Oh, I'm not going back to New York," and I certainly can't say, "We broke up." Saying out out loud makes it so real. So far I've lied straight to a neighbor, 4 friends, and an uncle. I really need to stop.
This is the first time in 3 years I won't light the menorah with you. Its funny, I feel like something is missing now that I won't be celebrating Jewish holidays any more. I'm so happy we were able to share our differences with each other.
Rebuilding is going to be hard. How do you reshape your life without something that has been so important for so long?
It was so nice to talk tonight. God I miss you. I'm so sorry.
I've come home before, so I know what it entails. The joys, the disappointments, the loneliness. I know that after some time the novelty of home wears off and real life sets in. And I know that when it hits I'm not going to be ready to be here without you.
It was a hard decision. I know it was the right one.
I'm trying to get settled. I want a job, a dog, a time commitment. I want anything that forces me to move forward when I don't want to.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep from crying on the phone tonight. I tried to hide it and I know you heard and I know you humored my poor attempts to sound OK. Thank you.
I'm so sick of people saying, "its for the best." How the fuck do they know? I wish someone would slap me and ask why the hell I threw away the best thing I had going for me.
I'm glad you've been spending time with your family and getting out of that tiny apartment. You surprised me when you talked about all the things you have been doing. I wish we hadn't gotten so complacent.
I haven't been able to tell people out loud yet. I can type it. I can text it. But I can't say, "Oh, I'm not going back to New York," and I certainly can't say, "We broke up." Saying out out loud makes it so real. So far I've lied straight to a neighbor, 4 friends, and an uncle. I really need to stop.
This is the first time in 3 years I won't light the menorah with you. Its funny, I feel like something is missing now that I won't be celebrating Jewish holidays any more. I'm so happy we were able to share our differences with each other.
Rebuilding is going to be hard. How do you reshape your life without something that has been so important for so long?
It was so nice to talk tonight. God I miss you. I'm so sorry.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Proof of Boredom/Lack of motivation
1. Do you like blue cheese? Not really. I'm more of a brie kind of person.
2- Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Ew, no.
3- Do you own a gun? Again, Ew, no
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Never allowed to drink Kool Aid!
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Nah - I work at a drs office!
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They used to make me throw up when I was little, but now I love them. Everyone should eat Nathan's Hot Dogs. So freakin good.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Which one do I not like? Faves: Miracle on 34th St, Elf :)
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Milk in my cereal. And apple cider.
9. Can you do push ups? Yes! And I have been, because I want guns. The arm kind.
10. Favorite hobby? Running.
11. Do you have A.D.D.? No.
12. What's one trait you hate about yourself? That sometimes I sit around doing stupid, inconsequential things instead of getting important stuff done. Like right now.
13. Middle name? Lynn
14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I cant believe how much I have to do today. I can't believe how busy I'm going to be for the next few days. I can't believe I'm going to AZ tomorrow.
15. Name 3 drinks you regularly have. H20. Cider. Milk.
16. Current hate right now? love.
17. Favorite place to be? ACK
18. How did you bring in the New Year? I was at work. I stayed up til midnight with a handful of middle aged, heavily medicated men. Drank sparkling cider, set off those noisemaker things, and put everyone to bed ASAP so I could get some sleep.
19. a place would you like to go? Um... everywhere?
20. name three people who will complete this: nobody!
21. Do you have slippers? I just bought boots that are like slippers.
22. What shirt are you wearing? Best shirt ever - Cozens family reunion 06
23. Do you like sleeping on satin? Never tried.
24. Can you whistle? sure
25. Would you be a pirate? In a heartbeat.
26. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing. I dance. To whatever I'm feeling like. Currently, that is Beyonce's Single Ladies.
27. Favorite girl's name? Beyonce. Totally kidding.
28. What's in your pocket right now? Um... I have no pockets.
29. Last thing that made you laugh? The creepy xmas decorations in the window of the sushi restaraunt around the corner. Seriously, dancing Santa whose middle is a snow globe.
30. Favorite bed sheets as a child? Little Mermaid.
31. Worst injury ever? Broken arm, broken nose. I got off pretty easy.
32. Do you love where you live? I heart Brooklyn
33. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1, and its huge.
34. Who is your loudest friend? We all have our moments.
35. How many dogs do you have? None, yet
36. Does someone have a crush on you? Bah. See question 16.
37. What is your least favorite book? The Scarlet Letter, without a doubt. ::shudders::
38. What is your least favorite candy? Anything with NUTS. Except snickers... mmmm snickers.
39. What is your least favorite Sports Team? Hah - where to start? Lets say all soccer teams except Man u.
40. What song do you want played at your funeral? This is the song that doesn't end. People will be too annoyed to be sad. And they will NEVER forget that funeral.
2- Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Ew, no.
3- Do you own a gun? Again, Ew, no
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? Never allowed to drink Kool Aid!
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Nah - I work at a drs office!
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They used to make me throw up when I was little, but now I love them. Everyone should eat Nathan's Hot Dogs. So freakin good.
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Which one do I not like? Faves: Miracle on 34th St, Elf :)
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Milk in my cereal. And apple cider.
9. Can you do push ups? Yes! And I have been, because I want guns. The arm kind.
10. Favorite hobby? Running.
11. Do you have A.D.D.? No.
12. What's one trait you hate about yourself? That sometimes I sit around doing stupid, inconsequential things instead of getting important stuff done. Like right now.
13. Middle name? Lynn
14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? I cant believe how much I have to do today. I can't believe how busy I'm going to be for the next few days. I can't believe I'm going to AZ tomorrow.
15. Name 3 drinks you regularly have. H20. Cider. Milk.
16. Current hate right now? love.
17. Favorite place to be? ACK
18. How did you bring in the New Year? I was at work. I stayed up til midnight with a handful of middle aged, heavily medicated men. Drank sparkling cider, set off those noisemaker things, and put everyone to bed ASAP so I could get some sleep.
19. a place would you like to go? Um... everywhere?
20. name three people who will complete this: nobody!
21. Do you have slippers? I just bought boots that are like slippers.
22. What shirt are you wearing? Best shirt ever - Cozens family reunion 06
23. Do you like sleeping on satin? Never tried.
24. Can you whistle? sure
25. Would you be a pirate? In a heartbeat.
26. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing. I dance. To whatever I'm feeling like. Currently, that is Beyonce's Single Ladies.
27. Favorite girl's name? Beyonce. Totally kidding.
28. What's in your pocket right now? Um... I have no pockets.
29. Last thing that made you laugh? The creepy xmas decorations in the window of the sushi restaraunt around the corner. Seriously, dancing Santa whose middle is a snow globe.
30. Favorite bed sheets as a child? Little Mermaid.
31. Worst injury ever? Broken arm, broken nose. I got off pretty easy.
32. Do you love where you live? I heart Brooklyn
33. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1, and its huge.
34. Who is your loudest friend? We all have our moments.
35. How many dogs do you have? None, yet
36. Does someone have a crush on you? Bah. See question 16.
37. What is your least favorite book? The Scarlet Letter, without a doubt. ::shudders::
38. What is your least favorite candy? Anything with NUTS. Except snickers... mmmm snickers.
39. What is your least favorite Sports Team? Hah - where to start? Lets say all soccer teams except Man u.
40. What song do you want played at your funeral? This is the song that doesn't end. People will be too annoyed to be sad. And they will NEVER forget that funeral.
Make these Cookies.
I know many of us are Smitten Kitchen fans. (Us? Do Kayla and I count as an "us"?) Anyway, I am an SK fan, so the other day when I had the urge to make cookies that was one of the places I looked. I was open to any kind of cookie, just as long as the ingredient list was incredibly simple (I live 3 blocks from a small grocery store - like the size of a convenience store anywhere else - but about 10 from a real grocery store. And I did NOT want to walk 10 blocks in the wintery mix for something silly like almond extract.)
This recipe caught my eye for one reason: it is a recipe adapted from the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook. Well, wouldn't you know, Magnolia Bakery is in NYC and its famous (more for its cupcakes) but D and I had gone over the weekend and both the cookies and the cupcakes were deeee-lish. And we had tried the PB cookies and SK had added in chocolate chips - hello, genius - and I was sold. And they were incredible, taste eeeenymost like the real thing, and I think I've eaten like 25 of them in the last day. Whoops.
So, to edit the title: Make these Cookies (but only if you can control yourself around cookies).
Peanut Butter Cookies
Adapted from the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook via Smitten Kitchen
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup peanut butter at room temperature (I only had smooth, but they use chunky at the bakery)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup peanut butter chips (right. like my neighborhood 7-11 had these. Just added extra pb!)
1/2 cup chocolate chips
For sprinkling: 1 tablespoon sugar, regular or superfine (i skipped this... i thought the 1 and 1/4 cups of sugar was plenty)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, the baking soda, the baking powder, and the salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and the peanut butter together until fluffy. Add the sugars and beat until smooth. Add the egg and mix well. Add the milk and the vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture and beat thoroughly. Stir in the peanut butter and chocolate chips.
Place sprinkling sugar — the remaining tablespoon — on a plate. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls into the sugar, then onto ungreased cookie sheets, leaving several inches between for expansion.
Using a fork, lightly indent with a criss-cross pattern (I used the back of a small offset spatula to keep it smooth on top), but do not overly flatten cookies. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Do not overbake.
Cookies may appear to be underdone, but they are not.
Cool the cookies on the sheets for 1 minute, then remove to a rack to cool completely.
This recipe caught my eye for one reason: it is a recipe adapted from the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook. Well, wouldn't you know, Magnolia Bakery is in NYC and its famous (more for its cupcakes) but D and I had gone over the weekend and both the cookies and the cupcakes were deeee-lish. And we had tried the PB cookies and SK had added in chocolate chips - hello, genius - and I was sold. And they were incredible, taste eeeenymost like the real thing, and I think I've eaten like 25 of them in the last day. Whoops.
So, to edit the title: Make these Cookies (but only if you can control yourself around cookies).
Peanut Butter Cookies
Adapted from the Magnolia Bakery Cookbook via Smitten Kitchen
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup peanut butter at room temperature (I only had smooth, but they use chunky at the bakery)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 tablespoon milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup peanut butter chips (right. like my neighborhood 7-11 had these. Just added extra pb!)
1/2 cup chocolate chips
For sprinkling: 1 tablespoon sugar, regular or superfine (i skipped this... i thought the 1 and 1/4 cups of sugar was plenty)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, the baking soda, the baking powder, and the salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and the peanut butter together until fluffy. Add the sugars and beat until smooth. Add the egg and mix well. Add the milk and the vanilla extract. Add the flour mixture and beat thoroughly. Stir in the peanut butter and chocolate chips.
Place sprinkling sugar — the remaining tablespoon — on a plate. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls into the sugar, then onto ungreased cookie sheets, leaving several inches between for expansion.
Using a fork, lightly indent with a criss-cross pattern (I used the back of a small offset spatula to keep it smooth on top), but do not overly flatten cookies. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Do not overbake.
Cookies may appear to be underdone, but they are not.
Cool the cookies on the sheets for 1 minute, then remove to a rack to cool completely.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
What?
Yesterday: 65 and sunny. D and I went out for a long walk and had ice cream. And it wasn't cold at all.
Today: Snow. Wintery Mix. More snow.
Someone please explain this to me?
Today: Snow. Wintery Mix. More snow.
Someone please explain this to me?
Monday, December 8, 2008
For Kayla
BOOTS!
I found them.
Brown. Slouchy.
Knee high. Buttons up the side.
Flat heel. Adorable.
(Please excuse the mess)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Fashonista
Today is my birthday.
I make a habit of spoiling myself a little on my birthday. Today I left work early. Last year I went on a shopping spree - the Old Navy/Ross/Target combo at Tempe Marketplace was good to me. Its fun to indulge a little bit and I have a real excuse to do so!
This year I wasn't sure if I would buy myself anything. And then I realized I shouldn't be ridiculous, of COURSE I was going to buy myself something. Then I had to debate what, exactly, I would be splurging on. I thought long and hard about a Wii - seriously, how cool are they? - but 99% of the stores in the world are sold out/charging double what they should. I needed a Plan B.
Boots.
I want boots. I crave boots. I see other girls with stylish boots on and I drool a little. What's best is that I live in NY so I actually have a reason to buy boots. But I'm boot-dumb. I have no idea what I want, and whats worse, is I have no idea how to start figuring out what I want. I tried boot shopping once and after a few stores my head was spinning. Suede? Leather? Ankle or Knee High? To heel or not to heel? Should I wear them inside or outside of my pants? Brown? Black? Alligator? Kidding. But seriously, how is a girl to decide? To rephrase, how is the least-fashionable girl on the planet to decide? How does someone who only buys 1.99 Old Navy flip flops go about paying so much for a pair of shoes? HOW??
Clearly, if anyone has any suggestions, I would be forever grateful.
(I still really, really want a Wii)
I make a habit of spoiling myself a little on my birthday. Today I left work early. Last year I went on a shopping spree - the Old Navy/Ross/Target combo at Tempe Marketplace was good to me. Its fun to indulge a little bit and I have a real excuse to do so!
This year I wasn't sure if I would buy myself anything. And then I realized I shouldn't be ridiculous, of COURSE I was going to buy myself something. Then I had to debate what, exactly, I would be splurging on. I thought long and hard about a Wii - seriously, how cool are they? - but 99% of the stores in the world are sold out/charging double what they should. I needed a Plan B.
Boots.
I want boots. I crave boots. I see other girls with stylish boots on and I drool a little. What's best is that I live in NY so I actually have a reason to buy boots. But I'm boot-dumb. I have no idea what I want, and whats worse, is I have no idea how to start figuring out what I want. I tried boot shopping once and after a few stores my head was spinning. Suede? Leather? Ankle or Knee High? To heel or not to heel? Should I wear them inside or outside of my pants? Brown? Black? Alligator? Kidding. But seriously, how is a girl to decide? To rephrase, how is the least-fashionable girl on the planet to decide? How does someone who only buys 1.99 Old Navy flip flops go about paying so much for a pair of shoes? HOW??
Clearly, if anyone has any suggestions, I would be forever grateful.
(I still really, really want a Wii)
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